in her secret life




I don’t know what I’m more afraid of-

Seeing you again or never seeing you again.

My eyes kept looking for a silhouette of you

among 9 million silhouettes of others.

My heart wished for one day crossing yours;

but my mind prevented me from wanting more.


It hurts to see my brightest color vanished into the thin air.

I don’t remember how many times I suffocated in restless nightmares-

with images of you haunting, squeezing, and killing.

Still, I’m struggling.



You’ve tried to hide from me lately,

leaving me alone with one question:

“What is happening to you?”

Do you know?

It’s not comfortable not knowing anything

as if you disappeared from my world

to live in your world.

I didn’t understand clearly

Every time you told me that

you were holding me close,

but still I seemed to be too far,

beyond your reach.

But sadly, it’s now my reach that you went beyond.

And I just simply cannot move on.

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