in her secret life




I’m in love with a man who loves Loneliness.

He needs it just like people need air.

Every night, he makes friends with his nightmares;

and in his unconsciousness, Loneliness leaves him a kiss.

He wakes up, next to me and lingers his cheek,

where the last night secret kiss was placed.



He said he was a selfish fool.

Yes, he is.

My fool.

I’m thinking if he knows

Life is all about:

fooling around.

We are all fools, dear. 

Don’t take the cloth

off your eyes.

Let you’re fooled

by life,

and see 

if your roads 

cross mine.


Dear, everything you said-

I remember.

And unfortunately I know-

You’re a liar.


We were determined-

trying to destroy each and every piece of our memories,

setting aside our hearts to live in a mere rationality,

being responsible with reality.

But hearts…screamed and yearned and craved

Yours for me and mine for you-

from deep down within their graves.

A gun was loaded with its barrel touching your temple.

“What do you want?”, asked a distant voice as cold as metal.

“Another night-with her, by my side.

Touch her, kiss her, look into her eyes

Make love and wake up with her, still – by my side.”

The death nodded his head, and triggered the gun.

You lied down on a wrinkle pearl white linen

My naked body pressed against yours

My  eyebrows frowned and my lips mumbled: “I want more”

Your kisses slowly reached my forehead

“I know our love is hanging on a thread

but sleep tight, the poison for my heart

as no matter far it drags me into Hell

Also the more of you I want to drink in my secret cell.”


You used to embarrass me a lot with your memory.

You said it was easy to remember everything when you were deep in love with me.

But since when beautiful things got faded so unintentionally?

I was wholeheartedly happy seeing you again at my place.

There was a tiny trail of tiredness hiding carelessly on your face,

but my heart crumbled just the same as if nothing had changed.

We talked cheerfully in an awkward way;

and in an ephemeral moment, I realized you had forgotten.

Things you said to me-words I treasured were all laden

in such a clever way under a delusion that you loved me still

while your head and heart were being filled with new sweet memories of her.

That realization of being forgotten blurred my eyes deep inside.

Our stories are getting rusted, have you ever noticed?


You and I,

like Day and Night.

Still, I remember you were waiting

every morning under my balcony

just to have a breakfast with me.

And now, after you walked out of my life,

it is me standing under your balcony every night,

wishing that I could catch your sight.


It will be more than fine.


Have you finished your CV

and put “Making love” with me

in the “Hobbies” category?


If I must admit frankly

“Making love” with you

is also my hobby

though definitely

I don’t have a silly CV.

<smiling cunningly>


Funny, lovely, kitty-

Noisy, bossy, sassy-

Sexy, hottie, naughty-

Shorty, chubby, fluffy-

I know you loved me.


Last night, I sat on a rooftop.

A rooftop:

where our dreams –

yours and mine-


Do you remember?

How we loved to be on a rooftop at 2am

giving no damn care about what was crazily revolving below.

We had such a good run, didn’t we?

Standing in the black air,

eyeing at the city where you live,

my tears dropped when the wind grieved.

My mind constantly cried how I wished you were here

with me,

though I know you couldn’t be.

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